Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Balabhaskar was his violin and his violin was him....

I been looking for Balabhaskar’ s mobile number for past few weeks. I had this guilt in my mind for having not returned his calls nor replied to his messages for months.

No, Balabhaskar Sir was not annoying me. He was being patient with a new student of his voice: The Violin.

I have met Balabhaskar just once. When he joined us in the remembrance service for another lost friend – Jishnu. I had saved all contact numbers of the celebrities who joined us to make Jishnu’s memory beautiful.

A few months later, in the attempt to revive myself from a personal setback, I wanted to invest my energy into something I had always loved to listen to: The Violin.

And who else did I turn to ask for guidance, the maestro of violin: Balabhaskar. He doesn’t know me in person and neither remembered me from the remembrance event as we had a crowd. Yet he answered my call.

The first call reached him when he was undergoing a treatment for shoulder pain in my native place: Ottapalam. I found it very strange that I get to call when he is in my native place. We got talking about the two common things: my native place and how he likes everything about it and the shoulder pain which we both had: his music profession and mine due to IT. Since he was undergoing the treatment for a while, said will reconnect on my request on his return a month after.

And a month later when I pined him asking if he is back and all is well…. Sir, called back. Why I address Balabhaskar with a Sir is because it is through the chats with him, I got to know about the basics of violin. I did not Google when I had the University of violin helping me.

He asked if I wanted to study violin standing or sitting… I went blabbering that I have a shoulder pain and hence will sit down and learn. He had a good laugh and said… he wanted to see if I knew Western music violin is learnt standing and Carnatic is by sitting! Then asked me to pick a day or days I want to learn and gave a list of institutions I could go and speak with.

What I saw is, Balabhaskar did not favor any single school of music, he did not insist on any parameters though he could have as I gone to him for guidance. Just like his music, easy, flowing, free.. he let me choose.

But what shows in his performance and life: persistence .. that was there is ensuring I joined a class and started my lessons.

And we never met. No regular chats or calls. Yet I could feel a supervisory pressure each time I procrastinated my practice or skipped my classes.

After a few weeks, I got a ping asking how am I progressing… he knew how commitments, job, family, chores all take a big chunk of one’s time. He knew I was also a bit hesitant to give it a try because of my late start in life to learn…. And to encourage would message saying initial days will be tough but don’t miss classes 😊

But that’s what happened … I started missing classes, lagged with my co-learners, tuition dropping and picking, grocery shopping, hypermarkets, calls dominated my evenings and my violin went silent.

I started avoiding Sir’ calls… didn’t know what excuse to make after having given almost all of them for missing classes… though his enquires on progress came weeks apart… I had the guilt of neglecting his voice, the violin. Then everything stopped. My violin classes and gradually Balabhaskar too stopped his messages. Silence.

And today when I know Balabhaskar’ s violins will be silent forever, I regret not having played mine despite the maestro himself guiding and encouraging. I feel terrible I missed replying in affirmative of how good my classes progressed… I miss not having respected his sincere encouragement to an unknown unseen me … it was not the person he was talking or pinging… he was making one more violin sing like his…. He was making more music through leaners like me. And I did not get this message till today morning when the news of his departure was in the air, everywhere.

I was looking for his number to just let him know I am starting my classes again and to apologize for having been silent.

Am not keying this to get shared or liked but, before he leaves us completely, while his soul is still in the same city, had to convey to all: Balabhaskar wanted many violins to speak like his. He loved each string of his violin like his breath. Today the strings, breath has stopped but his music will flow through many more violins. Including mine.

Stay with us, forever Balabhaskar… we will keep you alive amongst us. Through all the violins in Trivandrum and around the world. 

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Crime news: Deterrent or Encouragement?


Sanjana and I keep talking about why media is so full of negative news, abuses, injustice, scams, sex scandals, political coup, food poisoning, predators.

Are we not feeding blank minds with ideas to commit crimes by detailing the heinous acts in news reports, debated, discussions, Facebook and WhatsApps?

How will the world be if a news report informs public of a crime committed on Day 1 and day 20 inform the criminal has been caught by police. A solution is what the viewers need to know.

What is the motive behind news reporters reporting from scene of crime? How does it change anything to the viewer? It does not leave a good taste nor healthy thought once the crime scene is shown, blood splattered around shown, wailing parents or relatives seen... Why is the visual media so keen to show misery and sorrow?

What is the need to have news time have 60 minutes of discussions on a girl missing! Most of the points are assumptions. Defensive comments turn offensive. Parents, neighbors, local political leaders, religious leaders, the bus conductor to toll officer... all have a say in why a girl went missing. It does not get the missing girl turn up.

Viewers do not et off these shows with any pleasant thoughts. They get divided within families on the debates. Sometimes these debates turn into mega serials with each day having a new guest to defend or offend the subjects.

Remote controls get into tug of war between news channels to watch such debates.

But do these discussions, crime reporting BRING DOWN the rate of crime? Is such reporting a deterrent to any mind wandering into crime?

Sanju and I are divided on the need to report details of crime. But both of us feel, so much detailing of crime and criminals is glorifying the heinous deed with days of coverage. Who know it might be giving ideas or influencing a jilted lover or a student nervous to report performance at home or a housewife looking to get away from a drunkard husband or a predator watching a girl child play in the courtyard....

Why are we consumers of crime, violence, murders, rape, scandals, money scams? What is changing within us?



Saturday, July 14, 2018

The Corporate Glass Ceiling


Sanjana: Jia, I been in this company for 12 years! Yet, why am I not a Director? (Quizzical look)
Me: Well, Sanju.... you been here for 12 years and I know you are an SME... Good question! (I am searching for a response... distant look in eyes)

Sanjana, me and you are amongst the many, many who wonder why is that a few make it to the top and others don't. Maybe Sanjana's story might add a different perspective or is it the same for the millions if working women.

She is an SME in a niche area. Not many are certified of specialized. She joined her current employer just as the organization was breaking through into becoming an IT name to reckon with. Of course, she missed the start-up days.

And Sanju had her share of fieriness and straight talk that might have also added to her slow growth. She is not a "Yes, Sir", "Of course, Sir", "Very much, Sir", "You are right, Sir", "Right away, Sir" type of worker. Sanju would diplomatically, yet firmly say if things will work or not.

Of course, there were a few women who learnt the rope of "Yes, Sir" and reached to the top. To be precise, 4 of her age have.

Sanju sobered down, took a "horse with blinds" attitude, focused in designing a framework, mobile application got herself certified. Meanwhile, she got a mentor who believed what she did is needed for the company to offer new services to clients.

Yet, Sanju would never be invited to client presentations, she is not given a client facing challenge, Sanju must do what is part of a large project. She has made many attempts, (I am aware of) to inform the front-ending teams to sell her expertise. They turn a deaf ear.

She got perspectives as to why she cannot be in the sales front nor is being given a promotion to get opportunities to generate revenue. The responses given by her senior management showed clear signs of presence of: The Glass Ceiling.

- If only you joined my team 10 years back
- Had I spotted you much early, it would have helped me mentor you
- Perhaps had you been a man, it would have made networking easy within
- Maybe you should let a Senior Dir sell it for you and you can work under him

All the client meetings she was accidently joined were success and she closed those deals. She got excellent NPS from the clients onsite and offshore for her framework, plans and execution.

Hence the reasons given for her slow growth, is very interesting to know, Sanju's capability, skill and knowledge were not the impediments but her gender to a large extent and insecurity of the male-dominated front-end teams.

She is not the only one am aware of. In the same organization, another female SME is sidelined when it comes to client facing discussions. She takes the calls, prepares the decks, speaks to the client on phone but when it comes to meeting clients face to face, a male sales head from some other location was brought into the team and he took the meeting!

Sanju has two options, she tells me.

Either she stays on with the hand-downs or one of projects and celebrate success once a year.

Or she leaves the city and joins the bigger ones. What stops her is her family needs to be in the city for next two years. Sanju has travelled for all her client commitments, though. To US, EU and APAC.

I don't think Sanjana's case is unique. It is a common one in corporate.

But why that we have a tight pyramid towards the top for women? Why hasn't digitalization or technology break-through made any impact in seeing there is no bias moving up the corporate landscape!

Deep within, the male ego is yet to be transparent: digitally and emotionally.