Friday, November 20, 2009

Not 'New'spapers anymore! Only Sadpapers.....

I have boycotted newspapers and most of the television news channels.

I do get two newspapers at home. Yet do not feel like reading them.Off late, I have come to believe what one reads or sees affects the thought process. What you are constantly exposed to... what you read, what you see affects your approach to life and its events.

I have seen how headlines have progressed to throw up negative news in daily news papers. I am not including the business newspapers. Most of the regional newspapers vie for publishing a tragedy or scam in 60 font size. The darker, the terrifying headline is, the more is circulation for that day. Newspaper advertising hoardings scream about increased circulation. Most read, most bought!

Have you analyzed the headlines of most of the newspapers in recent past? They shift from scams, to horse trading to family drama in politics to train tragedies, major fires, Maoist killing and beheading, to terror episodes to road accidents to increase in price, to goonda glorification.
There are the positive news about a seminar in organic farming, space technology, education for all etc.

Yet what grabs attention of human beings is tragedies and negative news.

Is this confined to only words? No.

If you look at the way newspapers splash photographs of accidents, terror attacks, road mishaps, civilian unrest.... Anything that is tragic, it is evident there is hardly any censorship on behalf of the newspapers. Neither on behalf of the Government. Nor from us, the public.

We encourage the newspapers to display misery by picking the copies from the stands and reading them, absorbing every word and picture they publish about misery or grief of fellow human beings.

Come November 26, 2009... Or even from today, television channels are busy replaying and replaying the footage from November 26, 2008. They forget its humans they are showing running like headless chicken. The victims had families. They are being reminded and shown this footage, again and again. Why? What for?

These very TV crew coverage helped boost the terror group's morale of getting all the publicity they were looking for. The coverage also assisted them to navigate the terrorists to safer places and guide their actions.

Did the government act on Day 2 or Day 3 to ensure no private channels will give any live coverage? Did they confine the coverage to only Doordarshan News to ensure no panic-stricken, haggard-looking TV journo do not give half baked, repeated news about what is happening inside the Taj or Nariman house or the Trident, without knowing what is EXACTLY happening? NO!
The government let the TV channels cover, day and night ... all the journo's could tell you was "I just heard another blast from the Taj. That must be a bomb". Sick!

Did we ASK any private channels to put their employees' life in danger and give us day and night coverage? Can any of the private channels claim they did not compare the TAM rating for the three days? But some scant ethics still left in them would have prevented them from advertising their ratings! Thank you for small mercies!

When compared to the paper and TV media, the online newspaper is a big relief. We can choose to browse the pages we want. No terrifying headlines and no terrifying on-your-face grueling images. They webpage size in itself is the limitation to publish medium size images. The need to make the page light enough to download at any bandwidth. And the very access to online newspapers is through your PC and laptop makes it selective reading option.

Whatever be the media, it will be good for humanity if media observes less of glorification of human misery, less scramble for TAM ratings at the cost of publishing or covering a weeping, terrified human face, less of jury by having a panel of just four people giving their opinion on national issues, less of court of justice by questioning their guests, less of opinion makers, less of glamour house and more of credible, simple, positive, growth promoting, healthy reporting houses.

We are waiting for a change of course from the media. Till then, I confine myself to online newspapers. Things will change is you also take an oath to boycott any newspaper or TV channel that would publish any glorifying images of human suffering. We CAN make a difference by turning a blind eye and deaf ear to mindless media coverage of human terror.

We CAN make the media CHANGE!

Friday, October 16, 2009

The 90 mins bus ride: I survived!

"Acha (means Dad in my regional language) its OK.... I will make it to Trichur myself. I have taken the same route between 1995 to 1998! And how different will it be now", were my words to my dad as he insisted he joins me till Trichur from my home town. But seeing the 'steel' determination and desire for adventure, dad gave in and put me on a bus that looked in good condition, to Trichur. (Gladly dad does not insist. Though he would break into my toddler-age story of how I exhausted my mother's Creme21 by plastering it across the window sill in 5 minutes of meeting him, though very sensitive in cradling my childhood days, dad accepts and realises I have grown up to take care of myself).

After boarding the bus, I settled into one of the 'Ladies Only" seat. I do not want to sound pompous but its been many years since I had got into a bus at my native place or at my current place of stay. I felt nostalgic as the same bus stops passed by that I had seen 11 years back. Did time come to a stand still in these 10 years? I was asking these sentimental questions to myself, when I was jolted to reality as the driver brought the bus to a 'rude' stop! I was shaken to see the bus had just managed to inch past a group of men who were standing by the road to cross it. I was shocked and looked for some agitation from the men who managed to cling to their life, the other passengers who were jostled in their seat like me, for a sense of relief on the driver's face...but NONE! Nobody bothered that the bus was speeding at 80kph speed on a narrow road with life bustling on either sides of it. Nobody were concerned that the driver was rash driving. I was a little embarrassed at my state of shock, as the bus leaped into a next burst of rash driving, with the cleaner of the bus banging to its side....is version of an air horn!

there were at least three more such incidents, couple of times, I covered my eyes, when the people or the vehicles parked got a rebirth! I had a iron handrail to clutch at and prayers in me to keep my body and soul together.

I dare not ask if the driver has a permit, the cleaner has any first-aid awareness, the health-check of the bus etc. I barely managed to ask the cleaner of they would take the bus through a particular road. His answer was "If we need to fill diesel, we will go by the road you want to get down at". I managed to lipread him, as half his words were 'blown away' by the wind thanks to the speeding bus!

After getting down and gathering my wits, it took me some time to feel the road under my feet! My whole being was still feeling the rattling, the wind and the sudden 'rude' braking of the bus!

I had travelled the same route 11 years back...the buses were not very different. I never complained or cribbed as I am doing now. What has changed? Am I feeling elite? Have I aged so early? OR maybe I realised the value of life and the joy to be alive on this beautiful planet. My life is more dearer to me than what it was 11 years back!

City alive at 04:30 AM

I was taking a 05:30 AM train the other day. The car came to pick me up at 04:30 AM. I was a little anxious to be out on the roads when it did look like night time. Yet as the car drove past the lovely stretch of Kowdiar Palace, I was taken aback and at the same time happy!

The footpath was busy. there were people walking, jogging or catching up with friends! Hey! I am talking of that period of time, much before day break.

And what do you think is the age group of the citizens I saw? They were all above the age of 60! :) We and our children can proudly say, "My grandpa wakes up at 04:00 AM. He is an early riser". What will our grandchildren say about us: our generation? "My grandpa misses his laptop even at daybreak. I see him hunched over his old system but not able to do anything due to stiff fingers. Why can he go for a walk?"

All the people I saw so early in the morning looked healthy and happy. They were taking the pleasure of all positive ions and fresh oxygen. They were enjoying the company of their friends while getting the lovely stretch just for themselves and before it got patched by cars and more people!

I felt a pang of guilt. Had it not been for the train, I would be snoozing under the sheets at 04:30 AM. What would you be doing at 04:30 AM on any regular day? Ditto. Snoozing! :)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

I enjoy photography....

I enjoy being shutter-happy!
I enjoy going click-click-click!
I enjoy shooting!
I enjoy using light and rain to paint my life!
I enjoy seeing life go by in Black and White!
I enjoy catching people aware!
I enjoy 'framing' each and everyone I like!
I enjoy capturing nature the way my eyes see!
I enjoy feeling free when I use my fingers on the shutter!
I enjoy photography!
I think I know just enough....to keep me happy!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

MJ Fans: What if Micheal Jackson is still alive?

It was a busy working day morning, I heard it in patches, as i darted from one room to the other, a typical scene of rush hour. The TV was on, news channels got the privilege to be guests in our house, if none of the cartoons channels were being shown! That day, we had the news channel on, for a change! And what I heard in patches, drew me to the living room and I stood there, transfixed. I hear thus: Pop King Micheal Jackson was no more (It hurts to hear and use the word DEAD. I rather use the words 'no more').

How could it be? He is too young to leave the world! And I never heard him of ailing of any life threatening illness plaguing MJ! None of the news channels blaring his sad demise ever said MJ was counting his days on earth! But it was being stated we have lost Micheal Jackson!

He was not my pin up poster in my bedroom (or bathroom either). He was not my fashion role model (ahem!), he was not my role model in life (complicated than i was!) ... So what was i going to miss if NJ was no more. What i admired in him - He was like a thunder storm in the music world! He was talked about! He made an impact which even Elvis Presley did not make!
Micheal Jackson made a GLOBAL impact! He was heard, seen, imitated, danced like and even looked alike from Arizona to Sahara, from the Alps across the Himalayas, from Washington to Tokyo. That is what I would miss of MJ!

As the day rolled by, there were pages and pages of stories about MJ's past, childhood, father-son breakdown in relationship, about his children, his upcoming world tour, his doctor acting funny, his dad asking for a post mortem thrice....and above all his impending debt of USD 5 billion (I am as precise as any other news channel. You could have watched a different channel and your estimate of MJ's debt could vary from mine. Excuse moi!). I did have lots of work to reel out yet I found a strange theory taking shape in my complicated mind! The theory had only questions like:
- Who saw MJ dying?
- What is MJ is very much alive?
- Can it not be possible, what they are showing in the glass coffin is a wax statue from Madam Tussuad's?
- Why did his doctor not come an meet the press?
- Why is his father asking for post mortem thrice and that too being made public?
- What if MJ is alive and is living in a farm house in Australia?
- Why can it not be possible that the King of a particular nation in middle east has given him a palace to stay and MJ is now wearing the Arab attire and moving around like a freeman?

Now, you may think WHY would the above even happen? Too much fictitious! My question is: Why cant it happen? Why cant MJ be alive and living in anonymity and pass away at an old age?

Look, he had mounting debt. His health was fragile. His company had soled tickets for all his shows in the upcoming world tour. His family were always for his wealth. the tour was round the corner. MJ's failing health might have made it impossible for him to complete the tour, that would have made his debts soar higher! With no health and wealth, would his company, friends, family, want MJ to be around. They must have asked him to sign on his will and also on a legal piece of paper stating they can declare him not alive and he would move into oblivion. He will not surface again as MJ. He would be given sufficient funds to take him though his rest of life. He should give them full rights to sell his albums, come out with more releases of his old/new numbers and let them mint money of his death. What for? to clear all his existing debts and also to refund the tour tickets.

This could be true or an absurd theory. But going by the numerous stories/versions/theories surrounding his death, my theory too can be considered and thought through. Whether it gets the "Best Theory Award" or is laughed at, I don't care!

Take it as a last minute wish of an admirer of MJ's global image, to believe he is alive! :)

Friday, July 17, 2009

Happiness found me too complicated!

Hey Kay! Look at me, said Happiness.... I was in the park...sitting on a stone bench. I had my laptop and my handbag by my side. I had a long, lost look in my eyes...I was thinking.

With a sigh and knowing who called me, I shift my focus to the light-blue glow, which settled next to me on the stone bench. Instantly, I knew...that's My Happiness ... (It was the glow-shadow of the full moon I saw on a small puddle of water on the bench. It had rained that evening). I did not realise I was sitting in the park for almost two hours ... and it was early night 07:00 PM. The blue-glow swayed a little, when a light breeze blew over the puddle of water and send ripples through it. I imagined Happiness shaking its head and telling me, "Kay, this is not the state of mind you should allow yourself to be in. I know all the conflicts of thoughts in your mind. I know you aspire for freedom to live. I know you want to be happy every moment. I know YOU CAN!". As Happiness closed the sentence, my little devil got into the questioning mood.

Little devil asked, "Oh R.E.A.L.L.Y?!!! Do you know so much about me? Do you know what I want in life to such micro details? And you also KNOW that I can be happy, is it????". Happiness went silent for a while....the blue-glow faded. I looked up and saw there was a slim cloud passing across the full-moon. But as it was not a thick cloud, I could still see a faded blue glow. Happiness was not responding. And then the full blue-glow came into view on the water. Happiness is back and I smiled.

Happiness spoke. I was shocked to hear the tone. I had NEVER heard Happiness sound icy and distant. I had not expected this when Happiness said, "Kay, I am a simple feeling. I stay with those who want me to stay and BELIEVE what I say. I stay in those lives, to who I am a welcome and my words mean everything. You are driving me away by being too complicated for me to keep you happy. You are tying yourself into numerous tight knots, which are not going to help me help you". Happiness paused. I was about to respond sensibly when the little devil took charge and said' "Look Happiness. I have been alive without you for 32 long years. Today you are with me. Yet you are not mine either. You belong to others too. You have told me quite rudely, that you would not like me to be shared with anybody else (Delight, fantasy, excitement etc) but I will HAVE to share you. You also conceded that this is pretty unfair but that stays. And I said NOTHING but accepted your condition because I NEEDED you." I paused. Happiness replied, SO???. I replied to it, So, it means, if you don't want to help me and want to leave it is not fair! Cant you be a little more patient with me? Can you not give me some more time before you decide to desert me? Also, if you don't want me, I will also not need you. I will also go away." I paused. Happiness said, "Kay, it is entirely your choice because I do not want to leave you myself. But you are driving me away by being complicated and not giving me a chance to make you happy. So, if I have no space to help you, what is the meaning of my existence in your life? What is there for me to do?.

I was convinced that what Happiness pointed out was true. I was becoming complicated for Happiness to help me. I was crowding my mind with fears of things that did not happen. I was thinking of too many consequences to a future action. I was not giving Happiness a chance to make my life simple and happy!

Happiness was considering what I said - To give me a little more time to change. Happiness realised this is a fault in the creation and will need to give me some more time. Happiness realised I needed Happiness to stay in my mind and help me make my life simpler.

As both our thoughts for each other were shared, I saw the blue-glow completely vanish and many stars appeared on the night sky. The stillness of the night was swept away by a light breeze, the park lights went up, children from near by apartments started filling up the park. I felt light. I felt Happy, again. I knew it was time to get back to my studio apartment and curl up with a copy of Better Photography.

While I curled up on my couch that night, I saw the moonlight fall on my side... this time it was not a small blue-glow on a puddle of water but the silky, velvety, pearl-blue light came in full glow from the moon above and enveloped me. That was Happiness hugging me and wishing me good night! :) I am Happy! Happiness is Happy! We are together, forever! :)

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Tingle of music - Makes me feel lively!

I love music ... Uh? So?? (You might ask) I know...I agree...millions and millions of us LOVE music....all type...instrumental...vocal....natural....anything and everything that has a rhythm...makes you tap your feet and draws you to it and you hum along.... (I can see you raise your eyebrows and say - Kay, get to the point).. But I wont... :) This is MY blog and I can drag or cut my talk as and who I want (Heights of arrogance? Well...Why not?!) :)

Hey...coming to the point .... I been missing going to sleep by listening to numbers for sometime ... I would plug my headset to my GSM, switch on the FM, tuck it under my pillow and listen to and any numbers being played and drift into sleep. This was Happiness for me (You might say - There she goes...her Happiness has cropped up in this post too! :) ) But then....drifting into sleep by listening to Hindi numbers was Happiness for me ... It took me to a surreal world..where I would imagine myself taking the bold step of opening my heart and its throbbing to my Happiness by singing those very Hindi numbers to my Happiness! The nights when they played Hindi numbers from late 60s to early 70s-80s ... Well...those romantic numbers....made me smile as I imagined myself singing and being sung those numbers .... I know I can enact....but I am not sure if I would ever get an opportunity in real life to sing to my Happiness and let flow my thoughts...my heartbeats be heard :) And for past three-four months I could not plug in my headset as the handset started to behave funny and refused to activate the loudspeaker setting...Which made me go to bed by either the last advt I saw in TV ring in my ears...or if it was office work I was thinking about dominating my entire night etc....everything except music decided how peacefully I slept! :( And I did not like it at all ... I wanted the FM stations back...under my pillow :) I wanted to visualise myself singing those numbers to my Happiness...and be sung back :) I was missing my surreal world!

And last night, July -3, 2009...the-never-give-up attitude in me surfaced again and asked me to try it just once again .... the cynic in me chuckled and looked the other way...for a change :) I listened to my 'never-give-up-attitude' and Viola!! The loudspeaker got activated when I added the headset to the handset and switched on the FM !! :)))) I could not have asked for a better night ... I could not have asked for a more beautiful night of my FM stations, light showers on the window sill, warm bed and my dreams of my Happiness and me were all back .... that gush of delight....very precious for me! I finally got back what I was missing all these four months - My World where it was all so romantic and happy...where we sung to each other on how we felt for each other...where My Happiness and I were on a pink cloud and drifting into sleep...

"Dekha ek Khwab tho yeh silsile......." :)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Pragya and her friends - Update

Sweetie pies! Got an update from Pragya and her friends.... Met Pragya on way back from work a few days back. She seems to be on a diet ... Well, who is not on a diet these days!! And you got branded diet like GM Diet, for example!

On chatting with Pragya, came to know...well....she IS on a GM diet...and it was showing! Though I liked the earlier Pragya, marriage is SUPPOSED to bring about changes in anybody's life. I had noticed Pragya used to wear so many bangles..white, red...gold when she got back from her wedding.....four months later, I find the number of bangles have come down to a reasonable and manageable number!! Marriage DID bring in a change, once again, I guess. Oh! But this post is not just about the sweeeeeet Pragya but about her friends and how they have set up their HOME in Trivandrum, gradually.

They are proud owners of a television and cable connection! Phew!! Which meant unlimited streaming of Hindi programs, English news, English Films and all entertainment our girls have grown up in! I felt very nice hearing they could now watch programs in their mother tongue! :) This has also brought about a social change in their midst...the mightiest wins :) Whoever gets hold of the remote is the Queen of the Moment ... :) Is this any different from yours and my home! :) And of course, when you have more than one person watching the TV, choices to happen to be more.... BUT Pragya and her friends are happy!

They are happy taking turns cooking, cleaning, keeping their home neat and tidy on weekends, going shopping for vegetables and dividing the expense according to the vegetables they have consumed....according to the number of meals each had at home. They are also happy to have a chef in their midst who experiments with cooking....they also have a friend who is a almost a touch-me-not but all of them support her and are happy to do so! It is indeed a great pleasure to hear Pragya talk about their lives....they are no longer college recruits to the organisation ... they are no longer girls to the society, they are grown up girls..... BUT ask their parents....for them Pragya and her friends are still their doll-like daughters - Gudia (s) - (Gudia means doll in Hindi)

:-)

Undivided attention from Happiness - A Myth

Aha! So am in knots again .... hmmm....Well....nothing new, I guess! (This is my Happiness' typical reaction when told I am in knots!)

But this time...it is a bit different. It is regarding my Happiness. And how much undivided attention I seek from Happiness. It is so true...people only want your happiness and love to take a share of it .... and what you are left is just 2% (if you are quick enough to save even this much!) Else, even the 2% would get divided and maybe....because you were born under a very luck star and an extremely strong Zodiac sign...might be able to salvage .09%! You should title it as an achievement, if you do get to keep any of your Happiness.

Countering this Happiness can turn around...or even call you from behind...or just nudge you from your left or right side...else speak from the above...(Happiness is every where, right...or at least supposed to be!) and ask you ... Am there with you, as much as possible! Now that's a completely unfair answer! I am not looking for Happiness as and when it is possible for Happiness to be with me...I want it to be with me as and when I WANT Happiness!! Makes sense? Selfish sense? Why cant I get undivided attention from Happiness? Why am I being asked to SHARE Happiness? In which case it makes Happiness not just mine...but everybody who shares my Happiness!!! Not fair!!

This is also because of a traditional rule...set in by my ancestors, society and NOT me.... Yet am chained to this rule of the past - Share Happiness!

Happiness is also selfish. Happiness also wants to be everywhere.... not just mine. Happiness wants to please all. Happiness thinks that's the best thing to do. And asks me to be content with whatever I can salvage of it. Happiness is also rude when asking me to be content with the 'windows' available through which it would float in on a pink cloud! Till then what should I do, Happiness? Quiver in the cold? Maybe! OR wait with a patient smile and welcome you with open arms?

Undivided attention from Happiness is a Myth! (So be it!) :-))

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Pineapple - Yellow-Green (Colours of Joy!)

Again...it was a sight I saw on way to work .... a small private carrier on road..that runs on three tyres...has a tiny driver cabin and a open tin square carrier behind the driver's cabin. This is called the mini-auto-carrier in my land. All sorts of goods, at times people (in certain states) are carried from place to place for short distances.

This time it was a load of pineapples. Ripe pineapples. They were stacked randomly .... and were secured with the short iron railing on the top edge of the square carrier box ... but were loosely put into the carrier. This made the pineapples jostle against each other ... their green crown wobbling like heads in agreement who are in a heated discussion about world hunger! These are the ones in the top ... the ones underneath them looked muted and compressed like the opinions of a liberal speaker... that of a cynic. The ones under them are like any software development engineer... stay put where you been asked to and listen to all the big talk happening at the top!

But the wobbling green heads of the pineapples also brought back memories of two hair clips I had when in Class 2. They were not pineapples but yellow guitar which were pineapple yellow in colour. They were seen around till early this year but guess with my umpteen setting and resetting of my home space, they would either be somewhere in a recycling plant for plastics or if am lucky enough in one of the cardboard containers ready to be shipped to our own home in next two months.

Pineapple yellow....ripe pineapple yellow is a very joy-colour. And if it matched with the perfect green like the fruit has....makes it a carefree-combination :-) Happy colours!

I forgot my challenges...as I saw them speak..or did they 'speak'?

It was a very normal morning at a busy junction.....traffic coming fro m four regular directions, a haggard traffic police sweating in his tight-fitting police uniform, his two arms flying in all possible angles to drive some sense into the unruly traffic. My bus, in which I travel to office everyday with my colleagues, too was in middle of this jam. I sat in it, looked out of the window with a practised detachment to the chaos. Nothing unusual. The shops, the people at the bus stand...the school college buses...and my dry, boring thoughts of the challenges Nature/destiny/others have thrown into my life. My Happiness tells me I have this unique skill of killing my joy by conjuring up possibilities of tragedy in my life. I was almost on the verge of scripting a new tragedy, when my eyes caught something unusual....I saw three gentlemen communicating to each other. Two of them were nodding in affirmation...as the third gentleman....used sign language to communicate to the other two gentlemen. I thanked the traffic jam .....

All of them were talking in sign language ... not sure who had a challenge to speak....but as I leaned forward towards the window and watched them 'talk', one of the gentlemen caught my gaze. He gave a faint smile and got back into the discussion. They looked serious. I was not sure if the discussion was heated or not. They smiled and the next moment knitted eyebrows, nodding in affirmation and all the while using gestures, sign language! They were cut off from the din around, they were cut off from the melodies of sound, they were not gifted to hear music, they could not express verbally .... YET they were taking CARE to communicate. They managed to overcome their challenge and were grown-ups, managing their lives!

And here I am....gifted to hear....gifted to talk....gifted to express my feelings....yet...yet mulling over my so-called unfairness thrown at me by destiny/nature/others around me. I fail to SAY no, when I was supposed to...I do not care to SAY 'I like you' to my dear friends...I forget to SAY 'Take care' to my parents when I leave home....I do not care to SAY 'Life is beautiful' as sun rises everyday....I only SAY 'This is unfair'...which is not what I should be SAYING, with all gifts from Nature!

I thank the traffic jam, as we inch forward....and give one last look to the three-GIFTED and BLESSED gentlemen, wishing them a good day and a great life ahead....and a big THANK YOU! :)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Eloping with My Happiness!!

And I would ask you not to go by the headline word by word .... But it is true that I want to elope with Happiness! :-)

So what is Happiness? Or WHO is Happiness? Do you think it is a book I love? A dream I have? Or is it somebody I met recently? It could be with any of the three OR maybe it is all of three. Yet, Happiness is a state of mind, triggered by either a book's title...a fragrance....a smile....a touch....a fleeting image....it could be triggered by anything! I met happiness. I feel happy. I smile because am happy. Now you may wonder WHAT triggered happiness in me? It is definitely a VISION.....it is one intense look when my eyes met my happiness that triggered happiness in me. And know what....trust what I say next --- I failed to see this happiness was just an arms away for EXACT 12 months.....on the 12th month, Nature rolled up its sleeves, smiled at my 'blindness' and decided to make me meet my happiness. And the meeting too was very much dramatic....designed by somebody who I never liked before yet played a major role in ensuring I meet my happiness...and when I did....it was pure bliss! Sure guidance! Sincere approach! No agenda dreams! And all this makes to ask from Nature - I want to elope with My Happiness! (If not this lifetime...maybe in Next!) :)

Thank you, Nature! Thank you My Happiness!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Four Generations and a sewing machine!

Hope Karthikyean would come today, said my mother looking expectantly at the gate. And who is Karthikeyan? He is the handyman from Usha sewing machine company.. and my mother own a sewing machine which is around 35 years old. Usha sewing machine company has come a very long way from the hand machine days which my mother owns proudly. In between the 35 years, many a times, the hand machine went in for an exchange for a new automatic electric designer sewing machine, but the emotional connect mother had with the machine, ensured it came back home every time mother took it for an exchange during the festival seasons.

This sewing machine was bought by my maternal grand mother when she was in Bombay in early 70's. Grandma was a complete housewife and I will write about her very soon. She was very popular for her byriyanis, painting, embroidery work and pickles! She loved the way the Punjabi's and other North Indian friends used sewing machine to stitch their clothes and got one Usha sewing machine for herself. While moving out after her marriage, my mother opted to take the sewing machine with her. My father recollects how his old shirts, faded bedsheets etc were designed by mother as tiny frocks for me...he says, I try to guess which of my lungi or the bed sheet would you be wearing in the form of a frock as I walked back home from the bank! :)

I recollect my childhood days when my brother and I would very excitedly fill the bow pin of the machine with thread ... this was an easy task given that the machine had to be rotated in the opposite direction...my brother, being the muscle man between the two of us, would rotate the handle with all his might and I would direct the thread to fill the bow pin...at times we would fill the bow pin with multi threads in our excitement of having got the sewing machine for ourselves!!! Mother would realise this only when she uses the machine on a later date.

But for the past few years, mother had not touched the sewing machine. It would come with us every where we shifted home. At times, mother thought it was an added luggage but brother and I were sure, we will not sell it at any cost. And then came the fourth generation - my little one. Seeing her grow up, mother was back into her designer mode! She would look at the sewing machine lying idle and loads of clothes like my cotton dupattas, cotton bedsheets and other 'rags' and would sigh...telling my little one, If I had this machine back in shape, you would be getting to wear clothes fit for this climate!! I would cringe at the thought of seeing this 2 1/2 feet tall 3 year something wearing the black cotton duppata as a knee-length-round-neck-with-no-buttons dress as I walked in home from work. But mother was working towards making my fear come true. She searched the newspapers for sewing machine repair shops, through them got the details of Usha sewing machine shop and from them their service handyman. And as she had set her mind to put her 35 year-old sewing machine back into action, got it converted into electric machine with a few plug-ins here and there but retained the same iron-body, faded paint, same wooden handle though she does not need to use it as it is now connected to electricity. This helps mother a lot as she just need to press the pedal and the machine works, thus no need to rotate the handle.

On February 22, 2009 the Usha sewing machine was attended by Kartikeyan. This ensured the sewing machine got back into making small frocks out of the cotton dupattas, bedsheets etc, once again. Mother wore glasses as she measured, cut clothes, got them stitched and with such excitement made her grand daughter wear her designer wear! And the little one joined her in the excitement and does not allow me to go near it....its her grand mothers.....as it is my grand mothers too!!

As mother was engrossed in stitching a pink frock for my little one, I strongly felt my grand mother too joining us around my mother and her 35-year old Usha sewing machine! I pledge to keep this going .... and so will my little one, I am sure! :)

You were my senior 16 years back!!

I was in midst of ensuring all the shoes displaced in the BATA showroom, Opp Women's college Vazhuthacaud went back to thier place in proper condition, as my little one was on a trial-spree....shoes of her size as well as mine! As I was putting back the ones I had no mind to buy, I saw a family of four walk into the showroom - Man, Woman and two daughters...and as they were a bit on the heavier side compared to my skeletal frame, I heaved a sigh of relief looking at myself - Phew! I am so much better off than them...slim and can fit into any dress! Lost is such self-centric thoughts, I did not notice the woman of the family that walked in come to me. I looked up as I saw a pair of feet stop by my side...looking straight into my eyes, she asked, "Are you Karthika, who studied in LSN Convent, Ottapalam" .. before I answered in affirmative, I tired to clear the memory clog and tried to place her somewhere of the two years in LSN...was she my batch mate, or my senior...err..mybe a junior...and before I answered she helped me place her...and trust me, what she said was so unbelievable!!! " Am Amrita....I was in Class V when you were in Class X...and i remember you as you were part of Margamkali (A Christian festival dance) and popular in school".....Felt a bit dizzy at her recollection...she was talking of days which were 16 years back....and Amrita was a kid...in 5th grade and I was in 10th!!!!!

I did not wait to ask her why did she recollect me after these many years .... but was happy I was in her memory even after 16 years! And what a memory, Amrita! :)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

A wedding in Trivandrum

I belong to a state in India called Kerala, whose length can be covered in a 12 hrs train journey. I will not get into the demographic or geographic details of my state...there are ample other websites to help you understand Kerala aka God's Own Country. I am from the district of Palakkad, which is to the north of the state. But presently residing to the south of Kerala, in the capital of the state - Trivandrum where my current company is based out of.

I am very much aware of the differences between every district in Kerala. Though our state language is Malayalam, it is spoken differently in every district and so are the rituals during a wedding. Today I got to attend a typical Trivandrum wedding and this contrast surfaced once again! Keep aside the ritual of tying the knot or welcoming the guests etc. My discomfort stemmed right from the welcoming of the guests stage of the wedding but it reached its peak when it came to the second-half and highlight - The Feast or in regional language - Sadhya. I have never seen these many well-fed, well-dressed men and women shove and push each other to get into the hall for a seat!!

We greeted the couple and stood like models for the cameras clicking happily away and stepped down the stage. For all the functions I have attended while in Palakkad, we proceed to the feast area after greeting the couple. My mother and I did the same. Though mother has attend a few Trivandrum-based weddings, she too joined me only to realise we have to wait till the next round of hungry-but-healthy looking guests were to be served. We waited and waited. After 30 mins, there was a huge rush of guests from the hall to the front of the feast area. Mother warned me of a rush when the doors would open. I looked around to see the average weight of the population was anything between 70 to 85Kgs which was an indication that most of almost all who were attending the function had access to three healthy meals a day, on an average. If that was the case, why would they rush, I asked myself.

After a waiting period of 45 mins or more, the doors to the feast serving area opened and I was not prepared for what followed. I have seen people pushing to get into Mumbai local trains to reach home on time. I have seen people push forward to pay their homage to the deity when the main-door to the deity opens after an offering. I have seen people pushing to get into theatres or into buses but all these have a logical reason - to get there! But here, for a wedding feast....what are you pushing me for! You will still get a seat even if you walk in. I had to only stand and was swept or literally swept off my feet by silk-wrapped heavy-arms as they pushed me inside the hall and had to sit where the crown behind be decided to dump me! I could not move further as the seats were taken by then. Relived that I survived a near-stampede and also relived that I got a seat after all the waiting, I could only thank the stars for my second meal of the day!

Kids on stage are stress-busters!

I did not know I was such a sentimental fool! Of course, I am very sentimental when it comes to matters of the heart... but I saw myself almost on the verge of sobbing with joy, when I saw some 20-odd kids between the age of 3-4 yrs on stage as the curtains went up for my little one's school day. Her dance number was no:11 in the sequence and the first dance was by another annex of her kindergarten. As the curtain went up, I saw all the 20-odd tiny faces smiling at the audience with an innocence of a new-bloom flower! They were saying a thank you to God for having created all the animals, flowers, the moon, sun and stars etc and were genuinely trying to convince God that they meant it with the tiny hands going up as they looked up to the line of - Thank you God... I am sure this particular frame would melt any God or human heart!

I really felt great sitting there as I watched my little one do her twists and steps to Ena-Mean-Dekaa...she too was all amazed at the lights, the song in high volume with a hall full to its capacity! But as the music played, she and her other set of pranksters were unmindful off all these and gave their 100% to the dance...the teachers were seen standing in the wings of the stage trying their level best to prompt their wards about any steps they seem to forget...but none of them wanted any prompting..they were unmindful of the stage but were in a trip of their own till the music stopped...could see all of them stand still and look ahead as the curtain came down!

Every parent should make it a point to be present for their kids' school day, come hell or water. These are moments that you would cherish forever....and they too will feel very good when you narrate these moments to them years later. All parents who are working, pls make it a point not to miss your kids' on stage. You owe a lot to them...and this is something you definitely should be a part of!

I was. Will you be?

Monday, January 26, 2009

From where the hell did Ram Sena come from?

Hey! Who are you and where did THIS set of barbarians come from? Who is the brainless, IQ-less but EQ high Muthalik? How come he is still having homemade breakfast and meals at home? Why is he not behind bars? And what is the logic behind getting into a pub and beating up women? Did they have a frustrated night the night before?

They seem to claim to cleanse the human race....(heheeeehheee)...they seem to protect society against immoral activities!!! Do they know what an humongous task they have taken on their shoulder? Just a pub in Mangalore will not get the founder of this barbarian sena a MLA or MP seat!! Who have to roll-up your sleeves and march left, right, centre of India and if possible, only if time and your health permit, a flight to the West/Europe/Far East/Middle East with your barbarian senapatis on bus rooftops, train rooftops, joining you as long as their health permit and protect the humanity from all kinds of immoral activities happening day and night across the world....you may never even get to sleep due to the time zone and this is of anxiety to the Indian community as people like you are so rare to find - people with no brains are very few on this Blue planet and we would definitely want you to take care because to protect humanity from immoral activities you need to live forever.... provided, people with sanity do not come for your head!

Women, do not be deterred by such lowly, uneducated, uncultured, ungentlemanly, inhuman, unIndian behaviour by the barbarian sena... refrain using the name of gods to satisfy your male chauvinism....each one of you who were part of the barbarian sena during the Mangalore pub attack is nothing but a - MCP (MALE CHAUVINIST PIG!)

Friday, January 23, 2009

Auto Kuttan

We were in search of an auto-wallah to take my little one and her grandmother to and fro the school. I would feel bad each time mother said she would wait for 10-15 mins for the auto and how sun-beaten the little one and mother got...added to it is the tsunami-level of energy the little one has esp when she steps outside home.

One afternoon, I had to go to the hospital to collect a few reports. It was around 04:00 PM and I had not even a thin hope to find the three-wheeled machine! After a long walk to the junction, I got into an auto and requested him to take me to the hospital. On reaching the place, I asked if he is OK to wait for just 5 mins as it was a matter of collecting the reports and he agreed, which was a big surprise! And while returning he took me through roads I had not seen before and when I asked him to get me soon home, he said, "Didi, just like you I am also in a big hurry to get you back because there are a few kids waiting to get back home after tuition and I need to get there before they leave the class!" I was impressed by his concern and eagerness regarding the student-travellers of his. And as I got down, asked him if he belongs to the auto stand at the junction and will he be available if needed for a quick run to the hospital etc to which he said, "Didi, I live just two blocks away and also take most of the people from this area for their needs. Pls take my number and I shall definitely come to help you". Can you imagine my relief on hearing such helping words from an auto-wallah, who we all have categorised as - RUDE. I asked his name and he replied - Kuttan. I saved his number in my mobile as Auto Kuttan.

Kuttan is around 25yrs old, married with two kids. He is only Class 7th educated but well-mannered, sincere to his work, committed to the word he gives but is a chatter-box. An excellent source to get local happenings. One morning, while returning from the little one's school, he pointed to a young boy on a motorbike and said, "Didi, he was a goonda sometime back. Fell in love with a rich man's daughter and eloped with her to get married. The girl was not aware of his past but now he is reformed and is running own workshop! So, in case you need any kind of 'muscle-help', just let me know. He has lots of gratitude towards me, as I had once saved his life from a group of rival goonds at the Apollo Colony. Since then, he has high regard. Also, Didi, these days boys of class 9th and 10th are walking around with swords and knives inside their shirts...Do you have any idea whats happening around you? But, Didi, I am not such a type,,,I have a family to take care off but I keep good relations with such powers....Also Didi, once people like you get into Technopark in the mornings, you are unaware of the reality life we lead outside your world!" I repeated in my head what Kuttan said about our lives...how true, Kutta...we don't really know how do people like you live for a living, as we are busy serving clients sitting miles and miles away....entangled with annual appraisals, goal setting, rewards, fouling and stumbling while playing office politics...so much engrossed in our Techi-world (as my dad calls it), we hardly realise what happens in our neighbourhood....Keep giving me the news bits about my neighbourhood.

And thanks, Kutta....as of now, I don't see any urgent need to seek any 'muscle-help'. And if anyone of you need any of it, let me know...it is after all appraisal season going on.... :-)))

By the way, Kuttan is also the local gourmet and he is specialised in making yam pickle, fish pickle, chicken etc...gives his wife holiday from kitchen on Sundays :-) .. there are these interesting tit-bits about Kuttan, which is interesting from a human perspective....sometime later I shall pen how scared my mother got when Kuttan took our car out, how she scared him with her back seat driving which made Kuttan ask me to put a curtain between the front and rear seat, if he is to drive my mother around......on the other hand, mother made me promise I will never ask Kuttan to take the car out, as she got scared the way he changed gear and raced on the road....which we can categorize as generation gap :-))

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

About Pragya and her friends

While travelling in my company transport, every evening from work to home I watch as four girls disembark at a stop. They are all non-Malayalees....from North India. All of them are well mannered, soft spoken girls, who have not yet lost the college excitement but are slowly being pulled into the corporate world. They dress well, neat clothes and well braided hair. They do look for each other before the bus moves and as they get down. It was just a couple of times I heard them talk to each other about the night's menu. As I see them get down from the bus, quite a few thoughts go through my mind....How long are they prepared to be away from home in Trivandrum? Though they are together as a family today, one-by-one they would get married and move away...few of them would keep in touch with each other while others move on...how do they live here? Where do they live?...and so many questions till I see something else and my train of thought move to that track...

One day I had one of them sit near me. We gave each other an acknowledging smile...and after settling down, she asked me about me carrying my laptop home every day...as we chatted, I asked her the questions I had in mind...and her response to them, helped me build the picture.

They are a group of 7 girls living together in a three-bedroom first floor of a house near to Technopark. They do not have a refrigerator to store milk, vegetables etc. The cook dinner every night...daal or any pulses and roti. If there are more people to eat, then a dry side dish is also prepared. (Interesting!). So what about breakfast...she smiled and said its optional..and whoever wants to have can have on their own..like her, who has cornflakes and a fruit everyday like her two other friends. Three others make parattas every morning and have it with milk. Speak of milk, I ask her how do they store it. What she does is to buy a milk packet in the evening, boil it and have half of it in the evening and the rest is kept in a vessel which is kept in a water filled basin till next morning. And consumed in the morning. So what about vegetables? And what she said was a bit complex for me to understand but here is what it was meant to be...and she took the example of a cabbage. If a cabbage is bought and cooked, they have a board with all names put on it and whoever has the cabbage writes down under her name that she consumed the cabbage. At the end of every week, they calculate who all consumed which all vegetables and share the cost with the girl who spend it. Confused? So was I...but think about it for a few more seconds and you will crack it too! :-)

And I asked her...so how long will you all be away from home in TVM? ... She thought for a few seconds and said..well...hmm...dont know...but all of us want experience at work and so wont leave the job so soon and go. So what about marriage? She smiled and said..well, in fact I am getting married and leaving for home tomorrow! I smiled at her confession and asked whether she would continue or leave. Got a refreshing answer from her.. my fiance - Ujjwal, his parents and mine want me to continue working and gain experience. He is in IBM, Pune and has around 3-4 years of experience but has advised me to get a few more months of experience before joining him at Pune. This was a different perspective, from a single-child of parents who is staying away from home for the first time in her life!! And I could see the women of today changing their prospective of working. They want to balance their work and personal life. They want to have a secured future! And supporting them are the in-laws, parents and their partners!! :-) Kudos!!!

And by now, our bus had reached Pragya's stop and she was preparing to get down...I wished her lots of luck and also told her that her decision is absolutely wanted these days!

Wish you a Happy Married Life, Pragya and Ujjwal.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Posters, Posters on our walls!

Have you every given a thought to all the wall posters seen on every wall in our cities. I am talking about India..and all those who have been to India. The walls built around homes, hospitals, around anything which needs a boundary defined and is in public sphere is plastered with posters.

Posters of recent films released and to be released, political messages, devotional messages, various political posters, discount sales, house for sale and rent, forthcoming festivals in temples, feasts in churches, vote request for reality show participants, visits by socio-religious leaders and what not!!!! Anything and everything is plastered on walls....it is at times intimidating to see aging actors in various expressions...it is also distracting to see the scantly-clad lead actress' smooching.

But must comment that the quality of the posters has improved from normal screen printing to high-quality digital printing..the design and creativity is of much better standard. The angry Aamir in Ghajini looks so macho with all effects on the poster compared to the simple poster of Amitabh in Zanjeer!

Even a small temple in your by lane comes with a full-blown poster of the main deity, with the header of the forthcoming festival or about the temple renovation, asking for the devotees to contribute etc. Not to mention when it comes to election times be it municipal or Lok Sabha elections made up faces with wrinkle free dhotis and shirts stand out as cut outs!!! At times, such cut outs/hoarding/poster change your mind and cast votes for the opposing candidate...

All said, have you spared how much paper is being used for the colourful plastering? From where are the sponsors of such expensive publicity getting so much of paper? Why is the government not taking steps to control the use of posters? Did we talk of conservation of forests the other day in one of the many 'National Seminar on Conservation of Forest and Natural Energy' ? Are we talking of minimal use of paper for a greener tomorrow? Where is the resolution to use less of paper? Where are the corporates and why are they not making it a CSR initiative to create awareness against use of so many posters and how much paper consumption is this publicity mechanism taking? And what happens to these posters when it gets outdated? They are either torn down by the next set of poster-stickers, goats relish on the poster-feast, gets washed down in the next rain or simply fade away!!! It is CRIMINAL...the use of precious forests to churn out paper and be used for posters on walls....(But who is listening or cares for this extravaganza at the regulatory level?)

Let me sign off and be prepared to watch the kaleidoscope of walls as I travel to office tomorrow..the same walls but tomorrow there could be another blanket of posters on the ones i saw today! Maybe the earth under India would weigh less had we practised poster-less walls. Does anybody know the history of sticking posters on walls? Did this exist as some other form during the Mughal times, during British Raj and during our grandparents times?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Manashanti Lodge...

"Manashanti lodge" ... this is a name board I have been seeing every day to work. As we leave the Srikaryam junction and proceed towards Chavadimukku, there is a Triveni Supermarket. Right next to the supermarket, there is a narrow road and on the side wall , the name "Manashanti Lodge" is painted.

The name intrigued me. I started to give meaning to the name...Manah=mind and Shanti-peace. So the word Manashanti means Peace of Mind and did the name suggest that the lodge offers you peace of mind?? In the middle of the busy junction?? The building of the lodge is not visible as it might be build to the back of the supermarket. Or does a lodge by this name even exist? It could a name of an old place? It could be the same building where the new outlet of Indian Coffee house was opened last month....guesses are many. And I don't know the truth. I have not stopped to step out and check if a place like this exists or not.

Whether it is existing or not, the name can draw a lot of guests if the place actually can give peace of mind to the tired and haggard minds driving back home...and what kind of peace of mind is the place offering? Is it a meeting place? Is it a meditation centre with lodging? Or is it just a creative name given to the owner's aspiration to offer peace of mind! The answer could be any of these or none of the above!

Yet, everyday I see this name, I interpret it differently! :-)

What is inauspicious on a Friday...

And yes, the two incidents am going to mention happened on a Friday....and hey!no..it was not 13 Friday! But just an ordinary date. My little one who was sitting on the kitchen slab, near the cooking range was pestering me to contribute her two bits in cooking...finally frustrated with my resistance, she stood up on the slab...oops! Christ! What if the little one falls over on to the grill!! I say this aloud and from behind comes my mothers worried voice - Ouch! Its a Friday! and she is a girl! I put down the little one on the floor and turn to mother with a surprised look...i said, "But she will be hurt..that's my worry and what is that got to do with a Friday!!!" Mother was busy hustling the little one out of the kitchen while letting me know that it is inauspicious for girls to get burn injuries on a FRIDAY!!! I was speechless for a while....I could not believe mother was concerned the little one would fall over the grill on a Friday and not that the little one is only 3 yrs old!! ... I did not think it was wise to debate more on this and turned back to my cooking....

Two hours after the above incident...we were getting dressed to step out...I was as usual, looking for my ear rings....hmmmm....did not find them and turned to my traditional-looking gold ear studs...I wore one of them and as I was screwing the second one, the screw fell down and rolled somewhere under the cot..or I thought so....Mother was getting the little one dressed up and was sitting on the cot. I went down on all fours and looked for the screw...to hear mother say...Hmm..its a Friday! I raised myself up and asked her..so what? To which Mother said, it is inauspicious to lose gold on a Friday!!!! I was at a loss of words to this statement. "Mother, it is the screw that I am looking for and we are getting late. It does not matter if its a Friday or a Wednesday but its just that I need it now, if you want to go shopping".

I decided to pen this on a Tuesday...whether it is inauspicious or not, I do not know...and neither do i want to know! :-)