Nala, Damayanti and Me

Nala and Damayanti are my friends. They are very much alive and are having a life together. I take full responsibility of anybody saying the characters resemble them or anybody they know. Therefore, this post does not have any disclaimer!!

Damayanti....lets make it short and call her Minti and I have been close friends from our gradation years...say 11 years old friendship. Minti is very active on the fine arts part and me in the extra curricular activities. We hit off pretty well from Day One. While in a girls convent college, there is a zero-possibility of getting to meet any Nalan. (Oh..I forgot to tell you the significance of Nalan and Damayanti in Indian folklore. Nalan and Damayanti were gave birth to concept of love, love affair and love story in Indian folklore. They went through all turmoils, pangs of separation...even had a messenger assigned to them in the avatar of a swan but after all the heart burns and action, they lived happily ever after!

Now coming back to the Nala and Minti I was referring to..... They are like day and night....Minti is fair and Nala is on the darker side. They are opposites in every aspects: education, social and economical strata, emotional quotient (Nala weeps and Minti hands him the Kleenex!) and in every aspect you can think of!! So what binds these two, you may wonder! Trust me, your guess is as good as mine! But from Minti, I came to know he lets be who she is and supports her through the ups and downs! It sounds cliched, I know...but there is a twist to their story...here it is..

Nala knew Minti from her post-grad days. She was the creative, fine-art, theatre activist...she would speak in clear Malayalam and was the Best Actor for all the three years during our graduation...and as we predicted, Minti took Law to specialise in...and she chose the exciting Criminal Law for super specialising in. We were a group of 11 close friends. As earlier batches in every colleges, we all went our way...got married, divorced, had line-ins, kids, in-laws, new homes, careers in every walk of life and in a matter of 10 years most of us were 'settled' in some way or the other...except for Minti. She was busy with NGOs, counselling sessions, courts, law and criminals. Or we thought so....

One night I get a call from her. And then i come to know of Nalan! And what about him? Well, they been knowing each other for a long time. He was known as a good friend to her family. And he was married! Wow!!!....ehm....so now where does the story go? Well, Minti was responsible in getting Nalan married. When he did express his desire to wed her, her family objected as he was nowhere near the land-estate owners and politically active family of Minti...she was fair and he was extremely dark....she was a criminal lawyer and he was a constable in Kerala Police.....they objected. He was ready to take her away but then she objected and urged he gets married to the lady his family chose for him. Two days before the wedding Nalan promises Minti that he will touch no woman but her. And he kept his word. Before a week was over, his wife left him saying he is not interested in her...he sent her away citing behavioural problem etc...but Nalan kept his word to Minti.

Two years later, I meet them again...by this time I began to play a very serious part in their love story... It was behind my shadow Minti would slip from home and come to TVM to meet him....citing the reason of exams at Kerala University and telling her mom she is staying with me, they both would spend some time together....till he decided to divorce his wife. He did, by setting her up with her own cousin, with whom she was travelling in a car...he did feel very bad in spoiling her name, but Nalan had to do something to find a reason to file a divorce from his wife and marry Minti. By then, Minti too was convinced that she cannot marry or live with anybody else but Nalan.

In December 2008, they got married in TVM in a temple. No invitees, no family, no friends, no celebrations. But there was sheer joy of becoming one with one's beloved. There was the feeling of having got the loved one. There was a beautiful halo around them!

Without explaining more, let me wind up and publish this post! Got to tell you about whats not auspicious on a Friday! ;-)

From Corporate Communications to HR to.....Higher studies??

Am stuck!! Ugh? Stuck...in what? Well, stuck in my so-called career! Took up MCJ...Masters in Communication and Journalism to become either a journalist or take up public relations in an MNC. It was neither that happened to me as a career! It was Corporate Communications. And did I enjoy it? YES! I did and I still DO.

I took my first step in the direction of Corporate Communications on the floor of India's largest IT services and consultancy organisation. From baby steps I was ready for a 400 mtrs relay when I had to change the track and move to Muscat, the capital of Sultanate of Oman. After learning to beat the heat of the summer of Middle East, which took me around 7 months, I joined the largest bank in Oman in the Corporate Communications Department.

It was a cultural and career learning process. It is not a cake-walk to work in a new cultural environment, where whatever you learnt in your previous role has to be unlearnet and then learn the new tricks of the trade. Your communication skills come to a litmus test in a new country. How you greet, how you write a mail, how you take feedback, how you give feedback etc matters! The non-verbal language determines if your CEO likes the way you answer him and your peers always measure you on how many times you wish, greet and ask "How are you" in a day! It was also an art to accept the loads of accolades that come your way for a small help or a big campaign. It was a true, true learning experience to work in middle east early in the career. It was also a great experience to have managed either department and four vendors in my career in the Bank.

I had a very experienced head of the department, from who I learnt a lot of campaign management, ways to deal with senior management, polished and corporate behaviour but also had my share of dark days, which I would like to put under the header - learning experience and not ponder much.

I would filter the good and the bad and use both lessons in future when I get to deal or work in ME again!

It was a bizarre journey in the first one-year...the second year was a real cake-walk...and I was beginning to settle down, when the India-bug bit me! And the venom spread slowly through my veins and it got into me that my next destination is HOME-INDIA. Where I need not survive on ID cards...where am considered to be the citizen and not an expat, where my privileges are the same as my colleague. And India was getting branded as the "Home Back Destinations" for talented and ambitious young breed.....And consider and still consider myself to be talented and ambitious, decided to move lock-stock and barrel to India. Job hunting started as it was clear that I will not move back on holiday and later look for a job. Job sites, calls to agents, telephonic interviews, negotiations and finally two options in hand - Infrastructure company and an IT company in Technopark Trivandrum...Bangalore and Trivandrum....Team lead and Team lead role.....same CTC......but the benefit of working in Trivandrum was missing in Bangalore and so it was Trivadrum.

Joined the organisation as the Team Lead , though I was told I would be joining the Corporate Communications team. Thought it was OK as still there was MarComm which was the main channel of communications, along with branding and strategy....went off well for six-months and then came the organisational restructuring....now, now don't ask why or what was the need....to a common eye, it might seem unnecessary but for a company on the growth highway, reorganisation is the essential to get on to the superhighway to become a lead player in next three years (who foresaw recession in the beginning of 2008!).

Meanwhile I made a presentation on the campus branding strategy to our CEO. And it was the turning point in my career....the U-turn....and sensing I can add value to a new-team called Business Success Enablers in HR, he advised me to move to HR and asked me to meet the Global Head of HR . I was not sure if I should take the plunge. I debated, deliberated, sat on the decisions, called into rounds of discussion with HR and my mentors in the organisation and finally got convinced that HR is a need-to-have department while Corporate Communications is a good-to-have department. Though I still defer on the statement on Corp. Comm...

And my journey in HR began in mid-2008. Been a true roller-coaster ride. Failed to understand the yes-boss concept would get me anywhere and everywhere I wanted to go. Failed to understand that the new team constituted with HR Operations resources will do only operations and not any strategic or business related case studies as they failed to grasp the concept.

Having said that, I should also add the strong points of the new role. I am getting an excellent insight to the employee relations in an organisations, what goes behind the scene, how are policies made, who takes decisions on change management, who should be asked what and also where all does the organisation go wrong in assessing an impact of a policy or new initiative on the employees and how to rectify it. All this is so much of rich knowledge, so much of direct exposure to real-time issues it is overwhelming! And i do not regret my decision or the advises that came my way to pick up HR! Armed with this knowledge, I can definitely do a much better job when it comes to Internal Communications in any organisation! Everybody who wants to lead, should spend at least 18 months in HR to understand the pulse of the company!

Meanwhile, I want to get back to Corp. Comm. and will definitely get back THERE. Make no mistake! That is my trade. That is the skill I have mastered. I need not let go of my career goal to head a corporate communications department by the time I touch the 10th year in my career! I shall go on...and get there! :) (Intentionally did not add the company names, as this is not my resume and I don't think it is ethical to mention names of organisations I worked or is working for when I am expressing my personal comments!).

And to get there, I need to arm myself with one more core degree...either a MA in Marketing Comm., or a Executive MBA in Marketing or a second Masters in Communications. I would love to do it in UK but not before ruling out all possibilities in India...as this is my home...this is the soil I belong to...Let me now publish this post and get going to check on the admissions for EMBA in India.... Wish me luck...I need loads and loads of it! :)

Ghajini ..... iron rods or toothpicks

In one song sequence in Ghajini, there are 7 versions of Aamir Khan appearing together on the screen to the end of a song..I forgot the song and must have got the number of appearances wrong too...don't blame me..there was so much of action, bloodshed and gory scenes, I kind of forgot the good parts of the movie!!! Ah..coming back to the song sequence...well, I wished if I could have just one of them....to be mine... wished all those packs seen on the screen as Aamir took off his shirt becomes mine!! (Sigh!) ....I know its a very naughty thought and in Indian society a married woman should never think of another man (blah...blah...blah...to which my reaction is: YAWN..BLINK)...yeah, I know...but could not help as it was an absolute surprise to see the lanky, thin chocolate boy turn into a truly macho....strong.....handsome (sigh!)....very handsome....charming (sigh!)....extremely charming gentleman (wow!)...who still looks so boyish when he gives that naughty smile! (Compliments comes to an end here).

BUT what baffles me is why on earth did a mature actor like Aamir Khan take so much violence to the screen? What is so great in the story with 80% violence in it...and crude violence...where iron rods are used like toothpicks .... slicing through human bodies as if it were boneless chicken pieces!!! Or boiled vegetables!! Blood flowed like Aquafina water from a bottle....people were killed as if they were mosquitoes!! And this was the most part of the film! The softer part of the movies was shorter too!

Asim could have toned down her acting esp when Aamir meets her for the first time in the studios! But she is pretty...and adorable....got a good figure and if it is her own voice and not dubbed, good grasp of Hindi and its proper accent for a Mallu actor!

Yet, if the sensor board could publish a summary from the director of both Tamil and Hindi that would justify for so much violence, I probably need not have to write about it....not sure what would the world turn out to be if people with memory loss, terror victims, witnesses to crime, rape or injustice take even a small part of this movie into real life!

Hey..lets give the statement that reel influences real life, some merit....Do you agree or disagree (looking to my left and right...and I don't see anybody reading my blog to answer my question!) :) ... Its OK...I am not expecting any visitors either! It is my space but you are always welcome to join me in my space!

Pakistan - Why are you so inhuman?

I got a question for our neighbour....there has been ample evidence of your participation in anti-peace activities for years. People point fingers at you. Leadership across the world say you must eradicate terror from your soil. Terrorists who spread terror say they are Pakistani citizens. Yet, Pakistan, your leadership says you are a peace-loving nation. Are your leaders deaf? Are they blind that they don't read messages? What is that you are getting by letting terrorists into other motherlands? What is the goal you have oriented yourself to? What is that you stand to gain by killing other nationalities?

Pakistan, why are the parents in your country sending their boys to join terrorist training camps? Pakistan, tell me are they doing it for money? Why don't you send your boys to work in other nations, earn bread and butter with dignity!

Pakistan, please understand...by drawing blood of your neighbour, you are losing yours. By asking for a war, you are killing your people. There will be loss of lives on your soil too!

Pakistan, why are you so unkind? Why don't you change for good! Pakistan, tell me, why do you kill?

Postpone delivery!!!!

The incident below took place on November 22, 2008
Gosh! That was a sixer of a statement my mother made when she said...Postpone the deliver till November 25...even if the doctor advises for a cesarean on any grounds before that date!!!

I was idling on the bed on a Sunday mid-morning....cradling my head with the arms behind it and watching the fan swirl in a hurry....this statement woke me up with a jerk...I looked around...preened around the door and saw my mom talking on the phone to her daughter-in-law's mother.....I sat up with interest and heard the rest of the conversation with great interest...before I could get to hear her more, she put the phone down, turned back and saw I was sitting up and watching her. With a worried look, she walked to me and sat on the edge of the bed...sighed...I was waiting to hear her new concern...my mother is an expert in picking a concern from air and worrying about the same...So what is it this time, amma..I asked her.

She said, "Meenu is admitted to the hospital. When I looked at the calender there are good stars after November 24, 2008. Hope she can hold on till then". I was speechless and was at a loss of words to react to this statement....she saw the look on my face and continued...there is a bad star - Chitira-falling on November 24...it is bad for the baby and the father of the baby. They wont live long! I asked but what if the doctor says the baby's life is in danger and have to deliver the baby on November 24, 2008? Can we ask the doctor to keep the baby in till 25? All these questions fell on deaf ears...

Mother called up Dad and asked for the astrologer's number to whom she has not spoken for around 25 years! Dad gave her the number as she said this is the astrologer who has written my brother's and my horoscope and he never went wrong..........I sat near to her and watched silently as she dialled the astrologer....dusted his memory and was so happy to know he remembered her!

And then started her narration of my brother's wedding, his wife about to deliver...concern on the star falling on November 24 and what are the other good dates for birth! She had a look of triumph on her face as she put down the phone! Said, what she thought of Chitira-star was true and the delivery cannot happen before or on November 24, 2008! I tried to rationalise with her...asked here what about all those Britons, Germans and others who had no idea about the ill-effects of star Chitira and were born....does she believe all those who die early in life is born under this star? But of no use...nothing fell on her ears...her expression changed from triumph to concern and later fear...

She rushed to the phone, again, dialled my brother's number as he was in the hospital with his wife and asked for his mother-in-law.

"Postpone the delivery till November25, 2008, as i advised you before. Let the baby be born on any day after November 25, 2008 and if on November 25, 2008 should not take the baby out till 05:00 AM. But not on or before November 24, 2008." Again, a sixer of a sentence!

I dreaded the fate of the baby if it were to be born on November 24, 2008...I could not even imagine the number of temple offerings and visits my brother and the baby would have to make...But it amazed me to see my mother who was up early to watch the launch of mission Chandrayaan, getting worried about the effect of a silly star having on her son...and on what grounds is she asking the in-laws to tell the doctor to keep the baby in the womb for another 48 hours....even if the doctor advises on medical grounds!!

Fate has its own designs......the baby was born on November 25, 2008 around 11:00 AM....under the star - Chothi (Happens to be my mother's son-in-law's birth star too. And how are things between the mother-in-law and son-in-law...probably I should tell you on another day! :) )

Its about astrology and it baffles me....

And am back! This time its about astrology and it baffles me.....

How is mankind believing in planets and stars millions and millions of light years away have an impact on a human being's past, present and future....how can another human being who has also been procreated the natural way just like you and me...with help of a few alphabets in his/her mother tongue predict or rather technically read the past, future and present of an individual!

Oh! yes, now that I have mentioned my line of thoughts on astrology, should also tell you the answer I got from a well-educated, six-digit salary drawing management consultant who is an engineer by profession, loves Urdu poetry and has very good grasp on astrology...I can swear by his readings! (With this, you would know, yours truly too believes in reading horoscope...but is selective when it comes to believing!). He is as young as you and me....he was a complete on-believer in astrology and challenged his uncle who was a trusted astrologer for many....his uncle asked him to understand the science behind astrology and then question or disbelief the science ... since then, his bedside table is stacked with books on astrology and his laptop has folders with horoscopes and readings of those who approach him!

My question on astrology reached him and this is the logic i got from him: "Our body is made of larger percentage of water. Just like how the water bodies are affected by the full-moon and other natural phenomena, the human body too feels the impact of the celestial bodies on it. The effect could be very minor but the culmination of these effects also has impact on behaviour and psychology of human beings. This is what is read in each horoscope. There is a certain position assigned to each planet and stars in the universe. The position is mapped as per certain calculations and once all celestial bodies are put into a map as per the birth time and place of birth, the effect of these bodies on the individual is read or written and a horoscope is prepared". Phew! that was long, wasn't it?


But after this explanation, each time i look up at the moon, stars and the sun... wonder which of them are having what effect on me and when things go bad, I again look at them and ask...which of you is not happy with me? :-)