Sunday, July 26, 2009

I enjoy photography....

I enjoy being shutter-happy!
I enjoy going click-click-click!
I enjoy shooting!
I enjoy using light and rain to paint my life!
I enjoy seeing life go by in Black and White!
I enjoy catching people aware!
I enjoy 'framing' each and everyone I like!
I enjoy capturing nature the way my eyes see!
I enjoy feeling free when I use my fingers on the shutter!
I enjoy photography!
I think I know just enough....to keep me happy!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

MJ Fans: What if Micheal Jackson is still alive?

It was a busy working day morning, I heard it in patches, as i darted from one room to the other, a typical scene of rush hour. The TV was on, news channels got the privilege to be guests in our house, if none of the cartoons channels were being shown! That day, we had the news channel on, for a change! And what I heard in patches, drew me to the living room and I stood there, transfixed. I hear thus: Pop King Micheal Jackson was no more (It hurts to hear and use the word DEAD. I rather use the words 'no more').

How could it be? He is too young to leave the world! And I never heard him of ailing of any life threatening illness plaguing MJ! None of the news channels blaring his sad demise ever said MJ was counting his days on earth! But it was being stated we have lost Micheal Jackson!

He was not my pin up poster in my bedroom (or bathroom either). He was not my fashion role model (ahem!), he was not my role model in life (complicated than i was!) ... So what was i going to miss if NJ was no more. What i admired in him - He was like a thunder storm in the music world! He was talked about! He made an impact which even Elvis Presley did not make!
Micheal Jackson made a GLOBAL impact! He was heard, seen, imitated, danced like and even looked alike from Arizona to Sahara, from the Alps across the Himalayas, from Washington to Tokyo. That is what I would miss of MJ!

As the day rolled by, there were pages and pages of stories about MJ's past, childhood, father-son breakdown in relationship, about his children, his upcoming world tour, his doctor acting funny, his dad asking for a post mortem thrice....and above all his impending debt of USD 5 billion (I am as precise as any other news channel. You could have watched a different channel and your estimate of MJ's debt could vary from mine. Excuse moi!). I did have lots of work to reel out yet I found a strange theory taking shape in my complicated mind! The theory had only questions like:
- Who saw MJ dying?
- What is MJ is very much alive?
- Can it not be possible, what they are showing in the glass coffin is a wax statue from Madam Tussuad's?
- Why did his doctor not come an meet the press?
- Why is his father asking for post mortem thrice and that too being made public?
- What if MJ is alive and is living in a farm house in Australia?
- Why can it not be possible that the King of a particular nation in middle east has given him a palace to stay and MJ is now wearing the Arab attire and moving around like a freeman?

Now, you may think WHY would the above even happen? Too much fictitious! My question is: Why cant it happen? Why cant MJ be alive and living in anonymity and pass away at an old age?

Look, he had mounting debt. His health was fragile. His company had soled tickets for all his shows in the upcoming world tour. His family were always for his wealth. the tour was round the corner. MJ's failing health might have made it impossible for him to complete the tour, that would have made his debts soar higher! With no health and wealth, would his company, friends, family, want MJ to be around. They must have asked him to sign on his will and also on a legal piece of paper stating they can declare him not alive and he would move into oblivion. He will not surface again as MJ. He would be given sufficient funds to take him though his rest of life. He should give them full rights to sell his albums, come out with more releases of his old/new numbers and let them mint money of his death. What for? to clear all his existing debts and also to refund the tour tickets.

This could be true or an absurd theory. But going by the numerous stories/versions/theories surrounding his death, my theory too can be considered and thought through. Whether it gets the "Best Theory Award" or is laughed at, I don't care!

Take it as a last minute wish of an admirer of MJ's global image, to believe he is alive! :)

Friday, July 17, 2009

Happiness found me too complicated!

Hey Kay! Look at me, said Happiness.... I was in the park...sitting on a stone bench. I had my laptop and my handbag by my side. I had a long, lost look in my eyes...I was thinking.

With a sigh and knowing who called me, I shift my focus to the light-blue glow, which settled next to me on the stone bench. Instantly, I knew...that's My Happiness ... (It was the glow-shadow of the full moon I saw on a small puddle of water on the bench. It had rained that evening). I did not realise I was sitting in the park for almost two hours ... and it was early night 07:00 PM. The blue-glow swayed a little, when a light breeze blew over the puddle of water and send ripples through it. I imagined Happiness shaking its head and telling me, "Kay, this is not the state of mind you should allow yourself to be in. I know all the conflicts of thoughts in your mind. I know you aspire for freedom to live. I know you want to be happy every moment. I know YOU CAN!". As Happiness closed the sentence, my little devil got into the questioning mood.

Little devil asked, "Oh R.E.A.L.L.Y?!!! Do you know so much about me? Do you know what I want in life to such micro details? And you also KNOW that I can be happy, is it????". Happiness went silent for a while....the blue-glow faded. I looked up and saw there was a slim cloud passing across the full-moon. But as it was not a thick cloud, I could still see a faded blue glow. Happiness was not responding. And then the full blue-glow came into view on the water. Happiness is back and I smiled.

Happiness spoke. I was shocked to hear the tone. I had NEVER heard Happiness sound icy and distant. I had not expected this when Happiness said, "Kay, I am a simple feeling. I stay with those who want me to stay and BELIEVE what I say. I stay in those lives, to who I am a welcome and my words mean everything. You are driving me away by being too complicated for me to keep you happy. You are tying yourself into numerous tight knots, which are not going to help me help you". Happiness paused. I was about to respond sensibly when the little devil took charge and said' "Look Happiness. I have been alive without you for 32 long years. Today you are with me. Yet you are not mine either. You belong to others too. You have told me quite rudely, that you would not like me to be shared with anybody else (Delight, fantasy, excitement etc) but I will HAVE to share you. You also conceded that this is pretty unfair but that stays. And I said NOTHING but accepted your condition because I NEEDED you." I paused. Happiness replied, SO???. I replied to it, So, it means, if you don't want to help me and want to leave it is not fair! Cant you be a little more patient with me? Can you not give me some more time before you decide to desert me? Also, if you don't want me, I will also not need you. I will also go away." I paused. Happiness said, "Kay, it is entirely your choice because I do not want to leave you myself. But you are driving me away by being complicated and not giving me a chance to make you happy. So, if I have no space to help you, what is the meaning of my existence in your life? What is there for me to do?.

I was convinced that what Happiness pointed out was true. I was becoming complicated for Happiness to help me. I was crowding my mind with fears of things that did not happen. I was thinking of too many consequences to a future action. I was not giving Happiness a chance to make my life simple and happy!

Happiness was considering what I said - To give me a little more time to change. Happiness realised this is a fault in the creation and will need to give me some more time. Happiness realised I needed Happiness to stay in my mind and help me make my life simpler.

As both our thoughts for each other were shared, I saw the blue-glow completely vanish and many stars appeared on the night sky. The stillness of the night was swept away by a light breeze, the park lights went up, children from near by apartments started filling up the park. I felt light. I felt Happy, again. I knew it was time to get back to my studio apartment and curl up with a copy of Better Photography.

While I curled up on my couch that night, I saw the moonlight fall on my side... this time it was not a small blue-glow on a puddle of water but the silky, velvety, pearl-blue light came in full glow from the moon above and enveloped me. That was Happiness hugging me and wishing me good night! :) I am Happy! Happiness is Happy! We are together, forever! :)

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Tingle of music - Makes me feel lively!

I love music ... Uh? So?? (You might ask) I know...I agree...millions and millions of us LOVE music....all type...instrumental...vocal....natural....anything and everything that has a rhythm...makes you tap your feet and draws you to it and you hum along.... (I can see you raise your eyebrows and say - Kay, get to the point).. But I wont... :) This is MY blog and I can drag or cut my talk as and who I want (Heights of arrogance? Well...Why not?!) :)

Hey...coming to the point .... I been missing going to sleep by listening to numbers for sometime ... I would plug my headset to my GSM, switch on the FM, tuck it under my pillow and listen to and any numbers being played and drift into sleep. This was Happiness for me (You might say - There she goes...her Happiness has cropped up in this post too! :) ) But then....drifting into sleep by listening to Hindi numbers was Happiness for me ... It took me to a surreal world..where I would imagine myself taking the bold step of opening my heart and its throbbing to my Happiness by singing those very Hindi numbers to my Happiness! The nights when they played Hindi numbers from late 60s to early 70s-80s ... Well...those romantic numbers....made me smile as I imagined myself singing and being sung those numbers .... I know I can enact....but I am not sure if I would ever get an opportunity in real life to sing to my Happiness and let flow my thoughts...my heartbeats be heard :) And for past three-four months I could not plug in my headset as the handset started to behave funny and refused to activate the loudspeaker setting...Which made me go to bed by either the last advt I saw in TV ring in my ears...or if it was office work I was thinking about dominating my entire night etc....everything except music decided how peacefully I slept! :( And I did not like it at all ... I wanted the FM stations back...under my pillow :) I wanted to visualise myself singing those numbers to my Happiness...and be sung back :) I was missing my surreal world!

And last night, July -3, 2009...the-never-give-up attitude in me surfaced again and asked me to try it just once again .... the cynic in me chuckled and looked the other way...for a change :) I listened to my 'never-give-up-attitude' and Viola!! The loudspeaker got activated when I added the headset to the handset and switched on the FM !! :)))) I could not have asked for a better night ... I could not have asked for a more beautiful night of my FM stations, light showers on the window sill, warm bed and my dreams of my Happiness and me were all back .... that gush of delight....very precious for me! I finally got back what I was missing all these four months - My World where it was all so romantic and happy...where we sung to each other on how we felt for each other...where My Happiness and I were on a pink cloud and drifting into sleep...

"Dekha ek Khwab tho yeh silsile......." :)