Happiness found me too complicated!

Hey Kay! Look at me, said Happiness.... I was in the park...sitting on a stone bench. I had my laptop and my handbag by my side. I had a long, lost look in my eyes...I was thinking.

With a sigh and knowing who called me, I shift my focus to the light-blue glow, which settled next to me on the stone bench. Instantly, I knew...that's My Happiness ... (It was the glow-shadow of the full moon I saw on a small puddle of water on the bench. It had rained that evening). I did not realise I was sitting in the park for almost two hours ... and it was early night 07:00 PM. The blue-glow swayed a little, when a light breeze blew over the puddle of water and send ripples through it. I imagined Happiness shaking its head and telling me, "Kay, this is not the state of mind you should allow yourself to be in. I know all the conflicts of thoughts in your mind. I know you aspire for freedom to live. I know you want to be happy every moment. I know YOU CAN!". As Happiness closed the sentence, my little devil got into the questioning mood.

Little devil asked, "Oh R.E.A.L.L.Y?!!! Do you know so much about me? Do you know what I want in life to such micro details? And you also KNOW that I can be happy, is it????". Happiness went silent for a while....the blue-glow faded. I looked up and saw there was a slim cloud passing across the full-moon. But as it was not a thick cloud, I could still see a faded blue glow. Happiness was not responding. And then the full blue-glow came into view on the water. Happiness is back and I smiled.

Happiness spoke. I was shocked to hear the tone. I had NEVER heard Happiness sound icy and distant. I had not expected this when Happiness said, "Kay, I am a simple feeling. I stay with those who want me to stay and BELIEVE what I say. I stay in those lives, to who I am a welcome and my words mean everything. You are driving me away by being too complicated for me to keep you happy. You are tying yourself into numerous tight knots, which are not going to help me help you". Happiness paused. I was about to respond sensibly when the little devil took charge and said' "Look Happiness. I have been alive without you for 32 long years. Today you are with me. Yet you are not mine either. You belong to others too. You have told me quite rudely, that you would not like me to be shared with anybody else (Delight, fantasy, excitement etc) but I will HAVE to share you. You also conceded that this is pretty unfair but that stays. And I said NOTHING but accepted your condition because I NEEDED you." I paused. Happiness replied, SO???. I replied to it, So, it means, if you don't want to help me and want to leave it is not fair! Cant you be a little more patient with me? Can you not give me some more time before you decide to desert me? Also, if you don't want me, I will also not need you. I will also go away." I paused. Happiness said, "Kay, it is entirely your choice because I do not want to leave you myself. But you are driving me away by being complicated and not giving me a chance to make you happy. So, if I have no space to help you, what is the meaning of my existence in your life? What is there for me to do?.

I was convinced that what Happiness pointed out was true. I was becoming complicated for Happiness to help me. I was crowding my mind with fears of things that did not happen. I was thinking of too many consequences to a future action. I was not giving Happiness a chance to make my life simple and happy!

Happiness was considering what I said - To give me a little more time to change. Happiness realised this is a fault in the creation and will need to give me some more time. Happiness realised I needed Happiness to stay in my mind and help me make my life simpler.

As both our thoughts for each other were shared, I saw the blue-glow completely vanish and many stars appeared on the night sky. The stillness of the night was swept away by a light breeze, the park lights went up, children from near by apartments started filling up the park. I felt light. I felt Happy, again. I knew it was time to get back to my studio apartment and curl up with a copy of Better Photography.

While I curled up on my couch that night, I saw the moonlight fall on my side... this time it was not a small blue-glow on a puddle of water but the silky, velvety, pearl-blue light came in full glow from the moon above and enveloped me. That was Happiness hugging me and wishing me good night! :) I am Happy! Happiness is Happy! We are together, forever! :)