I been looking for Balabhaskar’ s mobile number for past few
weeks. I had this guilt in my mind for having not returned his calls nor
replied to his messages for months.
No, Balabhaskar Sir was not annoying me. He was being patient
with a new student of his voice: The Violin.
I have met Balabhaskar just once. When he joined us in the remembrance
service for another lost friend – Jishnu. I had saved all contact numbers of
the celebrities who joined us to make Jishnu’s memory beautiful.
A few months later, in the attempt to revive myself from a
personal setback, I wanted to invest my energy into something I had always
loved to listen to: The Violin.
And who else did I turn to ask for guidance, the maestro of
violin: Balabhaskar. He doesn’t know me in person and neither remembered me
from the remembrance event as we had a crowd. Yet he answered my call.
The first call reached him when he was undergoing a
treatment for shoulder pain in my native place: Ottapalam. I found it very
strange that I get to call when he is in my native place. We got talking about
the two common things: my native place and how he likes everything about it and
the shoulder pain which we both had: his music profession and mine due to IT.
Since he was undergoing the treatment for a while, said will reconnect on my
request on his return a month after.
And a month later when I pined him asking if he is back and
all is well…. Sir, called back. Why I address Balabhaskar with a Sir is because
it is through the chats with him, I got to know about the basics of violin. I
did not Google when I had the University of violin helping me.
He asked if I wanted to study violin standing or sitting… I
went blabbering that I have a shoulder pain and hence will sit down and learn.
He had a good laugh and said… he wanted to see if I knew Western music violin
is learnt standing and Carnatic is by sitting! Then asked me to pick a day or
days I want to learn and gave a list of institutions I could go and speak with.
What I saw is, Balabhaskar did not favor any single school
of music, he did not insist on any parameters though he could have as I gone to
him for guidance. Just like his music, easy, flowing, free.. he let me choose.
But what shows in his performance and life: persistence ..
that was there is ensuring I joined a class and started my lessons.
And we never met. No regular chats or calls. Yet I could
feel a supervisory pressure each time I procrastinated my practice or skipped
my classes.
After a few weeks, I got a ping asking how am I progressing…
he knew how commitments, job, family, chores all take a big chunk of one’s
time. He knew I was also a bit hesitant to give it a try because of my late
start in life to learn…. And to encourage would message saying initial days
will be tough but don’t miss classes 😊
But that’s what happened … I started missing classes, lagged
with my co-learners, tuition dropping and picking, grocery shopping,
hypermarkets, calls dominated my evenings and my violin went silent.
I started avoiding Sir’ calls… didn’t know what excuse to
make after having given almost all of them for missing classes… though his enquires
on progress came weeks apart… I had the guilt of neglecting his voice, the
violin. Then everything stopped. My violin classes and gradually Balabhaskar
too stopped his messages. Silence.
And today when I know Balabhaskar’ s violins will be silent
forever, I regret not having played mine despite the maestro himself guiding
and encouraging. I feel terrible I missed replying in affirmative of how good
my classes progressed… I miss not having respected his sincere encouragement to
an unknown unseen me … it was not the person he was talking or pinging… he was
making one more violin sing like his…. He was making more music through leaners
like me. And I did not get this message till today morning when the news of his
departure was in the air, everywhere.
I was looking for his number to just let him know I am
starting my classes again and to apologize for having been silent.
Am not keying this to get shared or liked but, before he
leaves us completely, while his soul is still in the same city, had to convey
to all: Balabhaskar wanted many violins to speak like his. He loved each string
of his violin like his breath. Today the strings, breath has stopped but his
music will flow through many more violins. Including mine.
Stay with us, forever Balabhaskar… we will keep you alive
amongst us. Through all the violins in Trivandrum and around the world.
