A wedding in Trivandrum

I belong to a state in India called Kerala, whose length can be covered in a 12 hrs train journey. I will not get into the demographic or geographic details of my state...there are ample other websites to help you understand Kerala aka God's Own Country. I am from the district of Palakkad, which is to the north of the state. But presently residing to the south of Kerala, in the capital of the state - Trivandrum where my current company is based out of.

I am very much aware of the differences between every district in Kerala. Though our state language is Malayalam, it is spoken differently in every district and so are the rituals during a wedding. Today I got to attend a typical Trivandrum wedding and this contrast surfaced once again! Keep aside the ritual of tying the knot or welcoming the guests etc. My discomfort stemmed right from the welcoming of the guests stage of the wedding but it reached its peak when it came to the second-half and highlight - The Feast or in regional language - Sadhya. I have never seen these many well-fed, well-dressed men and women shove and push each other to get into the hall for a seat!!

We greeted the couple and stood like models for the cameras clicking happily away and stepped down the stage. For all the functions I have attended while in Palakkad, we proceed to the feast area after greeting the couple. My mother and I did the same. Though mother has attend a few Trivandrum-based weddings, she too joined me only to realise we have to wait till the next round of hungry-but-healthy looking guests were to be served. We waited and waited. After 30 mins, there was a huge rush of guests from the hall to the front of the feast area. Mother warned me of a rush when the doors would open. I looked around to see the average weight of the population was anything between 70 to 85Kgs which was an indication that most of almost all who were attending the function had access to three healthy meals a day, on an average. If that was the case, why would they rush, I asked myself.

After a waiting period of 45 mins or more, the doors to the feast serving area opened and I was not prepared for what followed. I have seen people pushing to get into Mumbai local trains to reach home on time. I have seen people push forward to pay their homage to the deity when the main-door to the deity opens after an offering. I have seen people pushing to get into theatres or into buses but all these have a logical reason - to get there! But here, for a wedding feast....what are you pushing me for! You will still get a seat even if you walk in. I had to only stand and was swept or literally swept off my feet by silk-wrapped heavy-arms as they pushed me inside the hall and had to sit where the crown behind be decided to dump me! I could not move further as the seats were taken by then. Relived that I survived a near-stampede and also relived that I got a seat after all the waiting, I could only thank the stars for my second meal of the day!